The Reason
by sweetclementines
Summary: Ridden with guilt, Alice commits suicide. She wakes up only to find herself in Wonderland where she will learn the true reason for why she tried to kill herself. Rated T just in case; it may have small amounts of violence. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

_Is that really me? _I looked at the pretty face in the mirror and laughed bitterly. The girl laughed with me, her smile as brilliant as it was in the faded picture by the mirror. I brushed my dark hair, a trait I'd gotten from my mother. I had gotten my father's marble green eyes. The bottle by the framed picture was full of pills. The seal was unbroken.

I'm finally ready. My courage is slowly seeping away from me, but I'll do it before it's all gone. I grabbed the bottle and hastily ripped off the seal. I've thought about this moment for so long that I can't believe that I'm really going to do it now. I pulled off the cap and poured all of the pills into my free hand. Pills fell out of my mouth onto the ground. There was an awful, horrid sensation in my body and I bent over, vomiting everything I ate today. I felt faint and could feel my body falling to the ground. Nobody is home and nobody will be until a few hours longer. By the time they find me, I'll be dead.

When I open my eyes, I'm in a strange and yet familiar place.

"Where am I?" I asked. It took me a while to realize I was alone. Is this Heaven? No, it can't be. I would never be able to enter Heaven. Not after what I did to Lydia. So then, is this Hell? Looking at the beautiful trees that surround me, I realized that I was not in Hell either. So then, where am I? It hit me. I've been here before. I know I have. I walked up to a tree and touched its sparkling brown trunk. That's when I realized that the tree trunks were made of amber and the leaves emeralds. Then I remembered.

When I was a child, I had my own world. It was a beautiful world, entirely made of precious gems of all sorts. I went there often. I loved to enter that sparkling world. A smile spread on my face. I'm back. I'm in Wonderland.

**AN: Hi there! This is actually my first Alice in Wonderland fanfic, but not my first story on here. If you, the reader, are freaked out by Wonderland being made entirely of jewels, it's actually a metaphor. If you continue to read, you should be able to figure out what this Wonderland symbolizes. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland**

Suddenly, I felt a burning sensation in my hands.

"You're going to want to take your hands off the tree," said a familiar voice. I turned to see an enormous smile. It was the Cheshire Cat.

"Hello old friend," I said, smiling, "Did I miss anything?" He continued to smile.

"You're going to want to take your hands off the tree," he repeated, seeming to ignore what I had just asked him. "Your hands burn don't they?" I was surprised, but then again, he was always like this. Somehow, he always knew what was going on. I turned to look at the tree but was shocked and horrified by what was happening. My hands had disintegrated, forming into a bubbling, black mass. I immediately took my hands off the amber bark. The black, bubbling mass slowly formed back into my hands.

"What was that?" I asked, terrified.

"That's what happens now." I looked at the Cat. His smile was still there and, suddenly, it annoyed the hell out of me.

"Wipe that grin off your face!" I yelled. The smile only got bigger.

"You know that's not possible," he said, "You made it so that I could never stop smiling." His voice was full of disdain and a mischievous joy that I hardly remembered from my previous visits.

"Did I really?" He continued to smile. My irritation disappeared as suddenly as it came.

"Are you still angry with me?" he asked.

"No, I never was angry in the first place." His smile got even wider.

"You'll want to follow me," he said, "It gets dangerous after dark and you're going to get lost, like always." His entire body appeared then and he ran off. I bit my lip, deliberating the consequences of not following him. In the end, I ran after the Cat.

"The Hatter misses you," the Cat called.

"Really now?" I called back.

"Indeed. He says you keep missing his tea parties, which is really rather rude. Don't you agree, Alice?"

I refrained from laughing. "Has Hatter always been this neurotic? I don't really remember him from my previous visits."

"He's not neurotic, Alice," the Cat replied, "Since you never come, he considers it a slight toward him."

"Can I help it? I haven't been here in so long." The Cat suddenly stopped and looked me in the eyes.

"You've always been here Alice," he said, "You just haven't realized it."

**AN: Hehe, it's a cliffhanger. Well...at least, I think so. This is really just filler, to be completely honest. I was planning on writing more for this chapter but I'm lazy. Anyway, I hope whoever reads this enjoys!**


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